Here.
Where I spent time spent money
wasted time wasted money.
Four blurry years wandering.
Searching. Lost. Finding. Found.
Seven years ago I walked away with a degree
I hope I never use again
Friends I hope I have forever.
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She opens to this plane of being
Unfurling unfolding uncurling
Like the spiral of hair on the crown of her head
She stretches her limbs longer today than yesterday
Grabbing and kicking at an understanding
Of what it means to exist
Here and now.
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Everyday I open to the love that pulses through my veins
A love that comes from unfathomable depths through infinite tunnels
I fear this love will turn me mad and still, I love on
An interesting shade of beauty shines with messy precision
I cannot conquer the messes nor match the precision
Either I open to this beauty and it trickles through me
Infusing everything I feel, say, touch, hear and do
Or the beauty paralyzes me
I can't move lest everything fall to pieces
Opening contracting closing
Closing is part of the opening.
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Opening to the tightness in my hips the weakness in my shoulders the strength in my legs /
Surrendering to the hormones in my blood the softness in my belly the crookedness of my spine /
Embracing the milk in my breasts the asymmetry of my face the truth in my smile /
Seeing light through my eyes hope through my words the future through my children.
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Opening to what isThe shadow side of sweetness The flaws beneath An impeccable surface Smooth to the sight But not to the touch.
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faith flies in / cupping my heart urgency flies away / leaving in its place empty afternoons / pliant possibility
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The ground feels solid
When I'm spilled all over it
In bruised petals
Until I get it under my fingernails
And the land upon which we depend
Crumbles into piles of lost possibility
Beneath the surface a seed gestates
Cradled by the heat of the earth
A womb made of dirt.
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my full moon super powers--
Fly. See all of creation from up there. Skip through space to embody unknown dimensions. Walk to the other side of this planet. Understand the nature of beauty. Feel history as it pulses under my skin. Read a book by picking it up. Traverse the highway of time. Float. Levitate. Hover. Become everyone at once. Speak without words. Communicate across blank spaces. Shapeshift. Tumble through clouds. Read my heart aloud. Hold conviction as strong as the ocean. See God in the looking glass. Memorize the map engraved upon the deepest layer of spirit. Live the loftiest existence of my soul's imagination. Catch my baby's cries with unconditional kisses. Hold them forever. Grant grandiose wishes with the wink of my eye. Erase conflict with the nod of my head. Become the wind. Exhale abundance. Hear the echoes of animals. Unpeel the scars of living. Disappear. Reappear. Remember. Turn inside out. Show my insides to the kindred. Love all the children. Breathe in the babies. The crown of each head. Wrap my arms around the ocean. Unwrap the meaning of now. Sit in the stillness of sun. Bloom. Keep faith between my fingers, always close to my fingertips. Intuit without doubting. Play life like a movie. Slow motion. Rewind. Fast forward. Repeat. Open. Heart, mind, soul. Of infinite boundaries.
Photo credit: Alisha Sommer
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The nightsThey burn My eyes Open Midnight possibility I dip into dreams That stop without Ending Until I give in to day An empty wakefulness
Should I discard the compulsion to do?
Break out from the shell of expectation
Shed this comfort of protection, this belief I'm doing fine as long as I'm moving
Could it be about finding stillness instead?
Like the tree whose great heights come from standing still.
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I know enough to know
That perfection is fleeting
Misleading
And things could fall apart
If we turn our backs
For a second too long
Tsunamis start
Long before land turns to sea
Hence vigilance
Warning systems carefully constructed
No one will protect you
But you.
Break away from
A static hold
Set the alarm
Lock the door
Leave the house
Adventure outward
Lose your way
Lose the key
Break in through the window
You know the code
No one can keep you out
But you.
My hair so often left behind
Long & dirty
Tied up tangled
Unhidden strands of silver.
Today
I let the curling iron burn waves into the broken ends
While music rolled through
My belly
And the baby watched and I danced.
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When I wear these shoes the earth feels soft beneath my feet
the pieces of me that won't be confined are free to be broken.
TimeThe metronome of progress Even when we stop For a break Time marches onward We will have to run To catch up. Fall too far behind and We fear Spending our whole lives Hidden by shadows Chasing light Looking behind clouds To find more clouds Grudges shackled to our ankles Expectations binding our wrists Weights of want And no one within shouting distance.
Correction.
The fog is thick as dirt Like we are buried Beneath the crust But even underground We are not alone Surrounded by Fungi and worms Moles and insects Billions of micro organisms Pay attention with every sense Notice The movement The earth shifting around us We are the axis Life is on all sides In all cracks No matter how deep We've fallen.
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Here
A leaky faucet of truthtwist the knobs unplug the holes you can try but you can't stop the flow the flood of wisdom slick messes with no mercy. Watch where you step you are breakable like me don't close your eyes denial breeds dis-ease don't hide your heart isolation nurtures depression. Heed the coincidences for they do not exist feel your feelings not the emotional blackmail but the divine guidance the answers resting beneath bone and within blood arteries surging with the essence of your destiny.
Stop and start and stopfickle compulsions of the head making night-time final decisions based on a lucid dream. You think the work has feelings for you like a lover who leaves not love notes for remembrance but withered hopes and layered cuts. Flowers blossom faithfully in spring but never when we're looking change only perceptible after it's changed everything. It's a miasma of missing things even while doing everything it's never enough of anything stuffing holes with beautiful distraction. Pressure chips away at the beauty no one ever saw the potential we forgot to use the hours we'll never get back.
For the Trifecta week 100 challenge to respond to this prompt with 33 one syllable words. The first time I saw the boy with a slash on his cheek, one green eye and one blue, I knew he would change my life. He would take me past the edge of what I thought real.
I don't know what I'm looking at anymore We try and try and try again
Some days we get better and somedays we get worse
The sky turns pink and we turn away
The rain falls and we call it a nuisance
The night settles and we go to bed
The morning comes and we waste it away
I don't know what I'm doing anymore
Distractions circumnavigate my head
Doubt settles in my bones
Something isn't right
Materialism Pollution Racism
Sugar Alcohol Gossip Magazines
Impatience Dishonesty Power Wars
I want to jump out of bed in the morning
Drink tea Walk in the rain Salute the sun
Kiss my loves Hold my littles Embrace myself
Write Read Move Learn Teach Love
I have a hunch there's more out there
We are like little ants on one sidewalk on one street
Unseeing past the horizon, unaware of the infinite
The country, the planet, the galaxy, the universe
Matter and energy
Vibrating on the frequency of us.
